How to solve a problem
There are lots of ways to solve problems in our lives. This article has several strategies to consider. However, before you pick your strategy you need to answer a few questions:
What, exactly, is the problem? Get as specific as you can.
Who has this problem? Is it you? Is it someone else’s?
What can you control or influence in this problem? There might be pieces you can’t control or influence, try to separate those out and then use the strategies below to address the parts you can control or influence
Why do you need to solve it? Is this related to your values, needs, goals? Why is it worth putting your time and energy into it?
Once you feel clear on what the problem is, that you need to solve it, and why you need to solve it, you can choose from a variety of strategies to help you:
Strategy #1: Creating or Adjusting Goals
Do you currently have a goal related to your problem? If you do:
What is getting in the way of moving towards the goal? Of that, what is in your control to do? How can you take steps to do that?
How important is the goal to you? If it's not that important, can it get deprioritized for now? Could you stop working on it and revisit it in 3-6 months?
How confident are you that you can work on the goal? What do you need that would help you feel more confident about working on the goal?
Does the goal need to be readjusted? Is there another version of the goal that might be more realistic/doable?
If you do not have a goal related to your problem:
What is a goal you have that, if you achieve it, would help address the problem?
Is that goal something that is within your power, control, or influence to do something about? If not, adjust it so that it is a goal that you are fully able to accomplish.
Strategy #2: Make a Decision and/or Take Direct Action
Take some time and either write down your responses to this or talk this through with someone you trust:
What is the problem you have?
What are the decisions that need to be made?
What do you need to make those decisions? What steps can you take to get those things?
What are the direct actions available to you right now?
What do you need to take direct action? What steps can you take to get those things?
Strategy #3: Communicate
Do you need something from someone?
Have you told them about that need?
If not, what is getting in the way and what help do you need to address that barrier?
Do you need to say no to someone?
Have you told them that?
If not, what is getting in the way and what help do you need to address that barrier?
Is there a conflict that needs to be addressed?
What can you do to address it?
If you haven't addressed it, what is getting in the way and what help do you need to address that barrier?
Strategy #4: 1% Improvement Exercise
The 1% Improvement Exercise, inspired by the concept of marginal gains popularized by coach Dave Brailsford in sports, focuses on making small, incremental changes that, over time, lead to significant improvements. By identifying and implementing small adjustments, individuals can gradually enhance various aspects of their lives without feeling overwhelmed.
Here’s how it works:
Identify an area for change: Choose one area in your life where you’d like to improve, like your daily routine, stress management, or productivity.
Ask yourself: What’s one small thing I can change that would make this just 1% better? For example, if you want to be more productive, you might decide to spend 5 extra minutes planning your day each morning. If you want to improve stress management, maybe you decide to take a 10-minute walk after lunch.
Test the change: Try out this small change for a few days or a week to see how it feels. Small, gradual changes are often easier to stick with and don’t feel overwhelming.
Evaluate: After a week, ask yourself: Did this small change help? If it did, keep doing it! If not, try a different 1% improvement.
This exercise helps you focus on manageable adjustments that can make a big difference over time, without feeling like you need to overhaul everything at once.
Strategy #5: Brainstorming Solutions
Brainstorming solutions is a way to come up with ideas to solve a problem. It’s like getting creative and thinking of as many different ways to fix something as possible. You don’t worry about whether the ideas are perfect yet—you just get them all out there and then decide which ones could work. Here’s an example:
Situation: Your kids won’t clean up their toys, and it’s becoming a daily struggle.
Identify the problem: Get clear about what, exactly is the problem in this situation.
Example: You’re tired of asking your kids to clean up, and it’s making the house messy.
Start brainstorming: Now, think of as many ideas as you can to solve the problem. Don’t worry if they seem silly or unrealistic at first—just write them down. The goal is to come up with lots of options, even if you’re not sure yet which ones will work.
Ideas from the example situation:
Make a game out of cleaning up, like racing to see who can clean up the fastest.
Create a reward chart where they get a star for each day they clean up their toys.
Set a timer for 10 minutes and make it a "clean-up time" every day at the same time. Let them choose a special toy to keep out while everything else gets put away.
Teach them to clean up one set of toys before getting another set out.
Give them small rewards for keeping their room tidy, like extra playtime or a treat.
Ask them why they don’t like cleaning up and come up with a solution together.
Make a fun song or chant to sing while cleaning up.
Choose the best idea(s): Once you have a list of ideas, look at each one and decide which might work best for your family. Some ideas might not be practical, but others could help make clean-up time easier and more fun. Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski from their book “Burnout” recommend choosing ideas that are (they don’t have to meet each of these criteria):
Able to be completed soon: When will you know you’ve succeeded? Your goal should be achievable without requiring patience.
Certain: How confident are you that you can succeed? Your goal should be within your control.
Positive: What improvement will you experience when you win? It should be something that feels good, not just something that avoids suffering.
Concrete/Measurable: How will you know you’ve succeeded? There is a certain external indication that you have succeeded.
Specific: As opposed to general You should be able to visualize precisely what success will look like.
Personal: Why does this goal matter to you? How much does it matter? Tailor your goal so that it matters to you
From the example: You might decide to try the reward chart and the 10-minute clean-up time every day. That way, cleaning up becomes part of the routine, and your kids can see the rewards they’re earning.
Test the ideas: Try out the ideas for a little while and see how they work. If they don’t go as planned, you can go back to your list and try something else!
Brainstorming solutions is helpful because it gives you lots of options to work with and can lead to creative ways to solve a problem you’ve been struggling with. Plus, it can make problem-solving feel less stressful and more fun.
Strategy #6: Breaking Down a Situation into Actionable Steps
Figure out what the problem is: First, identify the problem. Let's use an example of feeling upset or overwhelmed in a relationship.
Ask yourself: “What exactly is making me feel upset or overwhelmed in the relationship?”
Example:
You’re feeling frustrated because you and your partner aren’t communicating well, and it’s leading to arguments.
You feel like your partner isn’t listening when you talk.
You feel like small disagreements are turning into bigger fights.
You’re worried that if this keeps happening, it might damage your relationship in the long-term.
Think about what you can do: Now, ask yourself: “What things can I do to improve the situation?” Focus on actions you can control. From the example:
You can work on improving your own communication by expressing your feelings more clearly.
You can suggest having a constructive conversation with your partner to talk about what’s bothering both of you.
You can set boundaries, like agreeing to take a break during heated moments instead of escalating the argument.
Break it into small, doable steps: Take the problem and break it down into smaller tasks that feel manageable. From the example:
Step 1: Set aside a specific time to have a constructive, uninterrupted conversation with your partner.
Step 2: Before the conversation, write down the key things you want to share about how you’ve been feeling.
Step 3: During the conversation, listen to your partner’s perspective without interrupting, and ask them to do the same.
Step 4: Agree on one or two changes you both can make, like checking in with each other more or taking breaks during arguments.
Step 5: Follow up after a week to see how things are going.
Focus on one step at a time: Don’t try to fix everything at once. Focus on the first step and complete it before moving on to the next. From the example:
If the first step is setting a time to talk, focus just on making that happen. Once that’s done, move on to preparing what you want to say during the conversation.
Check off your steps: As you complete each step, check it off. This helps you see progress and feel more in control of the situation. From the example:
Once you’ve had the conversation with your partner, check that step off your list. Then you can focus on the next step, like practicing better communication or taking breaks during arguments.
Adjust as needed: Sometimes things don’t go as planned, and that’s okay! If something isn’t working, make adjustments. From the example:
If the conversation doesn’t go as smoothly as you hoped, you might need to approach it differently or take more time to cool off before discussing tough topics. You might also ask for outside help, like counseling, if needed.
By breaking the relationship problem into smaller, doable steps, you can approach it more calmly and feel less overwhelmed. Just like with a big project, focusing on one small action at a time helps you make steady progress toward resolving the issue.
Strategy #7: Pros & Cons List
A pros and cons list is a simple way to weigh the positive (pros) and negative (cons) aspects of a decision. It helps you clearly see the benefits and downsides, making it easier to think through your options and make a more informed choice. Here’s how to create and evaluate pros and cons using the example of trying to decide whether to retire early or keep working for a few more years. Making a list of pros and cons can help you see the good and bad sides of both choices.
Step 1 - Write down your options: First, figure out the two choices you’re deciding between. In this case, it’s:
Option 1: Retire early
Option 2: Keep working
Step 2 - Make a pros and cons list: For each option, you make two columns: one for the “pros” (good things) and one for the “cons” (not-so-good things).
Option 1: Retire Early
PROS (Good things about retiring early):
More free time to spend with family or hobbies Less stress from work
Time to travel or relax
Chance to focus on health and well-being Opportunity to volunteer or try new activities
CONS (Not-so-good things about retiring early):
Less income, which might make budgeting harder
Could get bored without daily work routines
Might miss the social interaction with coworkers
Less savings for the future, which could affect long-term security
Option 2: Keep working
PROS (Good things about keeping your job):
Steady income to keep saving for the future
Health insurance and other job benefits
Sense of purpose and routine from working
Enjoyment of the work or work environment
More money to travel and enjoy retirement later
CONS (Not-so-good things about keeping your job):
More work-related stress and less free time
Could miss out on experiences or time with family
May not have the energy for hobbies after work
Waiting longer to fully relax and enjoy retirement
Step 3 - Evaluate the pros and cons: Now, you look at both lists and ask yourself some questions: Which pros are most important to you?
Which cons are deal-breakers, or things you really want to avoid?
What matters more to you right now—more free time or more income and security?
Example of Evaluating:
If you value having more free time right now, then the pros of retiring early might feel more important to you.
If you're worried about financial security, the cons of retiring early (like having less money saved) might outweigh the pros.
You also have to think about how much each pro or con affects your life. For example, if you love your job and don’t find it too stressful, then the cons of working might not bother you as much. But if you’re exhausted from work, the pros of retiring early might seem more attractive.
Step 4 - Consult your gut feeling: Once you’ve completed the pros and cons list, you might notice a gut feeling, that instinct deep down that tells you what feels right. This feeling can be an important guide too!
Even after thinking through all the pros and cons logically, you might find that your gut is leaning toward one option. Sometimes, your intuition knows what’s best for you, even when the lists seem evenly balanced. From the example:
Let’s say your pros and cons list for retiring early and keeping your job are pretty close.
You might notice that, deep down, you feel a sense of relief or excitement about retiring early, or maybe you feel uneasy about leaving work just yet.
That gut feeling is your body’s way of telling you what might be the best fit for your emotional and mental well-being.
How to use your gut feeling:
Check in with yourself: After making the pros and cons list, ask yourself how you feel about each option. Do you feel more peaceful or excited about one choice?
Balance logic and feeling: Both are important. Your gut feeling helps you consider emotions and personal values that might not always show up on a list.
Notice discomfort: If you feel anxious or uncertain about a choice, that could be a sign to think more about how it aligns with what you truly want.
Step 5 - Make your decision: After looking at the pros and cons and checking in with your gut, you can make a more informed decision. You might also realize that some cons can be managed or planned for (like budgeting carefully if you retire early). By laying it all out, you can see which option fits your current needs and future goals better.
Combining the logical approach of the pros and cons list with your gut instinct can help you feel more confident in your choice. The list helps organize your thoughts, while your gut feeling guides you toward what feels right for you personally. In the end, both your head and heart play a role in making a good decision! This process helps you think through both the positive and negative aspects of a decision and choose the option that feels right for you!
