How to “do therapy”
No one was born knowing how to “do therapy”.
It can take some time and effort to know how to “do” it in a way that is helpful, and it can look different with each therapist.
Even if you have been in therapy before, please read over the information below to understand what will be helpful to get the most out of therapy at Rootwise:
Expect that growth can be uncomfortable.
Therapy can feel uncomfortable, and when it does it can often be a sign that you’re healing, growing, and getting better. And, if you aren’t feeling safe-enough or overwhelmed, it is important to let your mental health professional know.
“Feeling better” has many definitions.
Feeling better doesn’t always mean feeling happier; it often means gaining insight/awareness, flexibility, self kindness, relationship skills, and the ability to cope with discomfort.
Learn how to be more curious and kind with yourself.
It takes time and effort to learn how to observe, label, and experience your thoughts, emotions, and body signals, and make sense of them with kindness. Let your mental health professional know if this is difficult for you.
Commit to trying new things before dismissing them
Much of the change in therapy happens between sessions. Make a good-faith effort to try the practices, reflections, or skills you discuss in therapy, even if they feel awkward, unfamiliar, or inconvenient at first. Before deciding something “doesn’t work,” make a good faith effort to try it. Your experience with the practice (including frustration, avoidance, or resistance) gives us valuable information and helps us tailor the approach more effectively.
Learn how to accept difficult realities.
Rootwise therapy will ask you to work toward accepting reality as it is. This might include figuring out how to solve problems you didn’t cause, and learn to pursue change wisely and intentionally.
Be honest in general.
If you aren’t honest with your mental health professional, they will be limited in how much they can help you, so be as honest as you can (including being honest about how you feel about them and therapy). Try to approach your thoughts and emotions with curiosity, and communicate when you’re confused, overwhelmed, or stuck.
Communicate directly with your mental health professional, including being honest about ending therapy.
You or your mental health professional may decide that it makes sense to pause or stop therapy. That’s a natural and normal process. And, if concerns arise, do your best to discuss them directly so you can experience repair, understanding, and a good ending if that’s needed.
Learn how to take responsibility for your choices.
Even when circumstances are unfair or problems weren’t your fault, therapy will often ask you to take responsibility for what you can control or influence as a way of reclaiming your power.
Aim to show up prepared.
Attend sessions consistently and come with at least one idea of what feels important to talk about, including, “I tried hard to come up with something, but I don’t know what to talk about.”
Do your best to protect your privacy and safety.
Choose a safe, stationary (e.g. no sessions while you’re in a moving vehicle), private space for telehealth and use crisis resources if you feel unsafe, rather than waiting for a session.
Hopes & goals
People often start therapy because something in their life isn’t working and they want it to change.
An important part of that process is beginning to imagine what life might look like if things were working better.
Sometimes people come to therapy with a very clear sense of that. Other times they simply know that something needs to shift but aren’t sure what they want instead. Either starting point is completely okay.
If you aren’t sure what that picture looks like yet, part of our work will be exploring your hopes and goals for therapy together:
Hopes are the things you long for or wish were different in your life.
They often reflect the kind of person you want to be, the kind of relationships you want to have, or the way you want to feel in your day-to-day life.Goals are the more specific changes or steps we work toward in therapy that help move you in the direction of those hopes.
Therapy can be challenging, and it often requires patience and persistence. Having a sense of what you’re working toward can make it easier to notice the ways your effort is paying off, whether that shows up as feeling more grounded, responding differently in difficult situations, or beginning to move through life with greater clarity, flexibility, and self-trust.
Resourcing & reprocessing
Therapy with Rootwise Mental Wellness involves two ongoing processes that we move back and forth between over time. Together, these help create the conditions for meaningful and lasting change.
Resourcing: Resourcing focuses on strengthening the internal and external supports that help you move toward your goals and navigate difficult experiences. Resourcing might include:
Education about how the mind and nervous system work
Skills for managing emotion and getting through tough moments
Executive functioning and practical life skills
Parts work to understand different aspects of yourself
Resource development to build internal stability and resilience
A combination of synchronous work in sessions and asynchronous learning and practice between sessions
These resources help create the stability, awareness, and flexibility needed for deeper therapeutic work.
Reprocessing: Reprocessing focuses on helping the brain and body integrate difficult or unresolved experiences so they no longer have the same emotional intensity or influence over your life. Reprocessing approaches may include:
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)
DBR (Deep Brain Reorienting)
Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT)
Exposure-based approaches where you experiment with new ways of doing things to see what you can learn.
As experiences are reprocessed, many people notice shifts in how they think, feel, and respond to situations that once felt overwhelming or stuck.
What sessions might look like
Each therapy session is a little different, but most sessions follow a simple structure that helps us stay focused on what matters most to you.
We might start by checking in on the hopes or goals we’ve identified together and asking: Which hope or goal feels most important to work on today?
From there, we may look at where you currently are in relation to that goal and notice any shifts that have happened since we last met. Sometimes this includes referring back to the progress visualization we’re using to track your work.
As we explore what’s coming up, we might ask a few guiding questions:
Is this a moment for acceptance or change?
Some situations call for learning new skills or taking action
Others involve learning how to accept where we are, even if it’s not where we want to be
Is this a moment for resourcing or reprocessing?
Sometimes our work focuses on strengthening skills, supports, and internal resources.
Other times we focus on helping your mind and body process experiences that may still be influencing how you feel and respond today.
Over time, moving between these different kinds of work helps create the conditions for meaningful and lasting change.
Tracking progress
Some people find it helpful to track their therapy progress using brief questionnaires or rating scales. These mental health assessments can help us notice patterns over time, monitor changes in symptoms such as anxiety, mood, or stress, and see how things are shifting as therapy continues.
At the same time, measurement in therapy can be complicated. Many important changes like increased self-understanding, improved relationships, or responding differently in difficult situations don’t always show up clearly in numbers.
Because of this, I view measurement as a tool rather than a requirement. If you find it helpful to see your progress in a structured way, we can incorporate brief assessments to track changes over time. If that approach doesn’t feel useful, we can focus instead on reflecting together on the meaningful shifts you’re experiencing.
Either way, the goal is the same: to help you recognize the ways your work in therapy is leading to real and lasting change.
My Style
Playfulness
Playfulness is an important part of my life and my therapy practice. When used thoughtfully, humor, creativity, and lightness can support connection, reduce shame, and make difficult work more tolerable.
At the same time, I’m mindful that play and humor can sometimes function as ways to avoid painful topics or move too quickly away from discomfort. My aim is to use play responsibly and in ways that support awareness and growth rather than distract from what matters. If humor or lightness ever feels mistimed or unhelpful, I welcome that feedback so we can adjust together.
Direct & gentle communication
In therapy, I tend to be direct while also aiming to be respectful and compassionate. I use myself as a therapeutic tool, which means I don’t only listen. I may share observations, reactions, or emotional responses when doing so could help you better understand yourself, your patterns, or what’s happening between us.
This is not the same as a friendship or casual conversation. My training helps me decide when and how to share in ways that serve your goals and the therapy process. You are also encouraged to share how our conversations feel to you: what’s helpful, what’s confusing, or what isn’t landing. Therapy works best when we can talk openly about the work itself and adjust as needed.