“Therapy speak”
There are so many brilliant and creative mental health experts and practitioners on social media, and I wanted to take a bit of time to highlight posts I’ve found particularly helpful or insightful.
Lately I’ve been finding myself saving a lot of posts that are aimed at helping correct an inevitable result of the increase in mental health awareness: therapy speak.
Therapy speak is when people use therapeutic terms in ways that aren’t just inaccurate, but can potentially be unhelpful to themselves and others. Here are some recent posts that I’ve found really helpful in understanding more about this and what to consider instead:
How “therapy speak” can be harmful:
Psychology terms that often get misused in therapy speak:
What terms you could use instead:
I don’t think people are always weaponizing therapy speak, however I do like how these two posts speak about the ways people may - intentionally or unintentionally - be using therapy language to support their brain’s “feel-better” reflex or experiential avoidance:
The Counseling & Wellness Center of Pittsburgh has some great suggestions for how we can be more mindful of how we are using therapy terms (this is a verbatim excerpt from their blog):
“Therapy speak is wielded in unhelpful or even harmful ways. To prevent these terms from being misused and to ensure they are not weaponized, it’s crucial to:
Educate Yourself: Learn the actual definitions and appropriate contexts for terms like narcissism, gaslighting, and boundaries before applying them to others or situations. Misuse undermines their meaning.
Be Mindful of Your Motive: Reflect on whether the language you’re using is intended to clarify and improve communication, or if it’s being used to assert power, shut down dialogue, or deflect accountability.
Avoid Pathologizing Others: Resist labeling someone based on limited understanding or personal frustration. Instead, seek to understand the complexity of their behavior.
Foster Open Communication: Apply these concepts to spark dialogue and connection rather than shut down conversations or create distance.”
How to ask someone not to use therapy speak (or to shift to more plain speech)
And, if someone is using it a lot and we aren’t feeling comfortable with it, here are ways to do that kindly:
Be honest about how it affects you, not accusatory.
“Hey, sometimes when we use a lot of therapy-type words, I get a bit lost / overwhelmed. Could we try talking about this more plainly, so I can follow better?”
Express a preference or need rather than a demand.
“I’d appreciate it if we could keep it simple / use fewer of those phrases, just for now, because I find myself tuning out if I don’t understand them fully.”
Acknowledge their intention (they’re probably trying to be helpful, thoughtful, caring).
“I know you’re trying to express concern / help, and I value that. I just sometimes prefer more straightforward talk.”
Offer a middle ground or give alternatives.
“If something feels vague, could you say exactly what you mean (what you saw, what you did, what you feel) rather than using labels?”
“Maybe we could pause and double check what we each mean.”Set the context (if it’s a serious or recurring issue).
“When we talk about difficult stuff, sometimes I feel better if we avoid jargon and just talk like two people trying to understand.”
Things to watch out for / tips
Choose a good time to bring it up, like when things are calm, not in the middle of a heated moment.
Use gentle tone / non-blaming language.
Be ready that the other person may not even realize they’re using therapy speak, or may feel defensive. It can help to emphasize that you appreciate what they’re trying to do.
It might help to model what you mean: say what you prefer, then follow through.
Be patient; change may take time.
